Comfortably Numb

I Don't Care

11,799 notes

my bf:
*doesnt reply*

me:
[fuck this, I can do so much better than this ashy ass bitch. what am I supposed to do with some lil dick for the rest of my life anyways??? let me call his best friend MATTER OF FACT LET ME CALL HIS BROTHER. he’s not even that cute for me to be stressing over him. only reason I dated him is cause my girl told me to give his lil ugly ass a chance I'm over it tho, next! ha ha!]
my bf:
my bad I had to pee. 

me:
I thought you did! wassup babe 😍😛

1,490 notes

iwishihadafather:

worldwar2chainz:

Good to know that I can brush my hair without threatening my masculinity

this is fucking stupid this is a flat bristle brush designed for men with short hair to keep fades and waves looking fresh. if you hair is longer than an inch, prepare to have that piece of hair ripped out as it gets tangled in the firm boar bristles.
that’s why it’s for fucking men. because generally men have bald fades.
shut up.

iwishihadafather:

worldwar2chainz:

Good to know that I can brush my hair without threatening my masculinity

this is fucking stupid this is a flat bristle brush designed for men with short hair to keep fades and waves looking fresh. if you hair is longer than an inch, prepare to have that piece of hair ripped out as it gets tangled in the firm boar bristles.

that’s why it’s for fucking men. because generally men have bald fades.

shut up.

(via punchingsatanlikeaboss)

177,257 notes

time-sponges:

You sit at the restaurant with your young son, he says he is hungry.  You agree to get him dinner. You open up to the kids menu, your child is far to young for adult food. Chicken nugger stares at you from the page. You don’t understand. Your palms get sweaty and your son complains. He says he is hungry.  Your mind strains, searching for an answer in a world of sweer potato and french fried. You try to order the chicken nugger, but you cannot. The words cannot escape your lips. Your son is hungry, he complains. The waitress stares at you, her head a spinning chicken nugger, her arms swinging french fried. Your son cries the tears of a chicken nugger-less child. In your mind you scream. It is raining sweer potato now, you have french fried engraved on your left temple and you do not understand. Your son weeps in the corner, he is starving. Starving for the chicken nugger.

time-sponges:

You sit at the restaurant with your young son, he says he is hungry.  You agree to get him dinner. You open up to the kids menu, your child is far to young for adult food. Chicken nugger stares at you from the page. You don’t understand. Your palms get sweaty and your son complains. He says he is hungry.  Your mind strains, searching for an answer in a world of sweer potato and french fried. You try to order the chicken nugger, but you cannot. The words cannot escape your lips. Your son is hungry, he complains. The waitress stares at you, her head a spinning chicken nugger, her arms swinging french fried. Your son cries the tears of a chicken nugger-less child. In your mind you scream. It is raining sweer potato now, you have french fried engraved on your left temple and you do not understand. Your son weeps in the corner, he is starving. Starving for the chicken nugger.

(Source: skelepponies, via foureyedpileofshit)